Tuesday, June 17, 2008 12:08 AM
hmmmm..
i don't know where to begin..
anyway..
new link..
new skin..
today..
nah..
not a good day..
injured norain while playing soccer..
serious injury..
her knee cap or don't know what bone twisted..
i'm so guilty..
feel like shit la..
now trying to help her pay her medical bills..
=(
i'm sorry norain..
sux man..
this few days..
i have alot of thinkings..
i feel like entering NS now..
don't know why..
just want things to start early and finish early..
rawr..
today mr kok talk to us about things happening in the army..
sounds damn cool la..
haha..
maybe thats why i want to enter now..
but i had this feeling quite awhile ago..
maybe its my ego..
haha..
lalala ~
and this few days..
i think my parents is hiding something from me..
i very curious..
my mum suddenly gt 1 week leave..
no work at all..
she says her company doesn't have anything for her to work..
i hope she doesn't get fired..
but she's already old..
59 !
halo !
time to relax..
but i'm still a kid..
how much can i do..
and my dad..
this few days keeps on drinking beer..
almost every night 1 bottle..
and everyday almost one pack of cigarettes..
i wish i could know whats going on in their mind now..
each time my dad talks to me about deaths..
like my grandma..
who's already 76..
may leave us any time..
i don't know why..
i feel something..
something deep down in my heart..
fear.
.
.
.
.
.
i mean..
i just fear of losing close loves ones..
i just feel this way..
and my dad and mum always say what if one day they would leave me..
then this this that that..
i just don't like it..
i think i'll have a mental break down if any of my parent were to leave me..
i just want them to live happily to as long as possible..
and i feel outcast among my friends this few days..
its been awhile in my mind..
whenever i with my non-band friends..
we would go out..
have fun..
but whenever i got band they would show me a bad face..
and now i like band band band everyday..
no choice..
have to give in for preparing for concert..
and my other group of friends like getting further and further away from me..
i feel like i only have a few close friends..
but i'll treasure them to the fullest..
even i have only one..
right now..
i'm trying to change to a better haiping..
but it seems unacceptable by many of my friends..
especially those who had been with me since primary school..
i mean..
i was never a study type if you know me..
i hate books..
so much so that i wouldn't even glance at them..
and now i would pick them up and even read them..
study them..
what ?
can't a 17yr old kid change for the better since he's been wasting he past 16 yrs of life on leisure..
right he has an aim, a target, a goal..
to do his best for this yr's Os..
gets the best result he would ever get..
aim for 12points..
targeting a good course in poly..
having a good goal to pursue in life..
whats wrong about that ?
but..
i don't care already..
wadeva ~
haiping is living in another dimension..
haiping's world..
wadeva ~
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